All my adult life I wanted to live in California. During a sabbatical year I campaigned 
to get a full time position at UCLA. I couldn't swing it because I was not one of 
the top 3 people in my field. I could never understand how the department had 10 of 
the top 3 people in the field of atmospheric science, but it was a great year and I 
liked the entire brilliant faculty. This roast was read at a farewell party given 
by George and Nancy Siscoe celebrating our year there.

When I returned to CCNY I realized that I would likely spend the rest of my career 
here. All my efforts to leave during the prior decade had failed.

Farewell to UCLA
June 1986

We came out for a one year stay
And got to love you all so well
So please don't mind the things I say
For truth alone is what I'll tell

in

The Ballad of AS at UCLA

Siscoe pours out articles
About as fast as he can write
His air just has no particles
His words nor ray of light

His colleague though is more than divine
Her field line curves so fancy
Our chairman's joy is to recombine
Magnetically with Nancy

Don't forget dear Richard Thorne
Whose research life is tedium
Those plasma waves are just pure corn
The squash court's his true medium

We have a dauntless samurai
Who wastes no time in idle chatter
Whole armies fear the great Yanai
Armies that is of worthless data

Farewell oh Shogun of the grid
Farewell and Sayonara
If we could sing just as he did
We'd all be Arakawa

And now there came half of Michael Ghil
To tell us who is truly great
Though his work and words give us a chill
They're all that he'll assimilate

The women R.A.'s are a piece of cake
For our scholar who's gallant and courtly
But even his waves would not keep a-wake
If they took fluids courses with Wurtele

Now we have our own TV star
His sudden warming's a hot show
In the office or from afar
Even Dotty thinks he's so Macho (Roberto Mechoso)

Roberto's rating have just been surpassed
By one whose theory's so murky
It would take far more than a nuclear blast
To get data for that Turk-o.

Our wind tunnel gets its loving care
From a turncoat chemist named Derek
He's used it to poison LA's clean air
And grow ice crystals that are spheric

Oh Venky, my Venky how can I write of you?
If e'er I said a nasty thing we'd know it weren't true
But I can tell the whole world your very secret wish
To be reborn a poet and a wee bit Engelish

Last but not least - except in height
(For that may we all be cursed.)
Is Roger whose thunderous might
Is just a dry microburst.

No at last I have come to the end
Of my year and I really do grieve
For four lines more your ears I will bend
You must learn about me fore I leave.

My name is Stan G and I'd stay here for life.
If only you would give me the chance
My research would cut like the edge of a knife
And I'll try to hold on to my pants