Here is an introductory poem to two roasting poems that I wrote a couple of
years ago. As you can see, names have been changed to protect the innocent
from display on the web. Blame Google if you will, not me. 


XXO is one real sweet guy
He wouldn’t hurt a tiny fly.
Besides, I’ll say in his defense
He is no longer quite so tense.
So sharing his name on internet
Is something we’d all deeply regret.
And since it might make such a fuss
He must remain anonymous.

X and Y are two sweet gals
Who sadly are no longer pals
Their tale I have them reenact
Holding only one small fact
That each gal has a truer name
For I could not accept the blame
Of causing trouble when none was due
So I won’t release their names to you.


23 July 2007



Conflict: A Play in One Act
The Stage is Set

X: I fought so hard for your big raise
Y: I'm worth much more; you'll get no praise.
    Although its large its not enough
X: Although you smile you're much too tough
    I hate the way you pressure me.
Y: I wish that you would treasure me.

A short time later

Y: I passed the test, I'm certified
X: You're not prepared, so you're denied 
     I must stay in the driver's seat
Y: For me this is a great defeat.
    I hate X, she's no friend
X: I hate Y but I'll pretend
    That experience is the point.
Y: I'm getting tired of this joint.
    This job is getting much too old.
X: Y is acting awfully cold.
    I feel rejected, I am sad
Y: You feel rejected! Boy, I'm mad.
    You turned me down, you've got some nerve.
X: When I feel pressed I do not swerve.

Enter Mediator

M: You ladies are too smart and bright
     To feel that only you are right
     So who will be the first to budge
     To start to ease this growing grudge?  
     We know the hurt you feel inside
     Requires swallowing your pride
     And that's a real tough thing to do
     We'll have to leave it up to you
     To change, you both must realize
     That each of you is quite a prize
     Y, give your boss time and space
     She will acknowledge you're her ace
     X, do not feel Y a threat.
     You guide her well, she's in your debt.

Promotion Time

X: Y, you let my ego rest
     So here's your raise, please act impressed
Y: Words fail me now, I'm at a loss
     I thank you so, oh goddess boss
X: At last I have your true devotion
     So here Y is your promotion

Both Exit Arm in Arm Smiling         
But What Will Act II Bring??


Dr. Principal XXO

Its time for all of you to know
That now I'm DR. XXO
So gather round and I'll relate
The way I reached my lofty state.
I was a teacher at the start
But soon ambition swelled my heart
Then I aimed to raise my station
With a higher education 
I worked all day, I worked all night
No wonder that I'm so up tight!
There wasn't any time to spare
To see my wife or breathe fresh air
And still I always fell behind
With stress so great I lost my mind

So what's life like as principal?
I have no friends nor ever shall.
With iron hand I run my school
I talk real tough and act real cruel
Inside the school I am the boss
I'm hard as nails; I rule by force
I'm very strict but oh, so fair.
I can't think of a kid I spare.
No boy or girl or little chil'
Has ever seen me wear a smile
I'd rather have a giant tumor
Than show one tiny speck of humor
For I have learned in each career
Love doesn't work; what does is fear
So when I choose to prowl the halls
The kids all cringe against the walls
A kid who gets to bio late
I will abuse and violate
A kid who dares to tell ME, "no"!
Would find life sweeter on death row
For now that I'm a PhD
I give all kids the nth degree
And 'cause I bring each kid to tears,
The days I'm sick the whole school cheers.

My time is up - here comes the food
Enjoy and eat; don't mind my mood
Don't worry if I snarl and bark.
For that's the way I made my mark