In the fall of 2004, Elise applied to Berkley Business School. She had trouble 
starting a personal essay, so I offered her this poem in its place. Ultimately she 
was rejected despite excellent credentials. I have a feeling the poem was the cause even though she didn't use it.


Elise's Real Application Essay to Berkley Business School
Started 16 November 2004	Revised 18 November 2004


I do not wish to brag
Because it is a drag
For other folks to read
Great deed after great deed.
But this essay compels
That each applicant tells
The best things he has done
And make it sound like fun.
From when I was a kid
I'll tell you what I did
I learned to swim at two
But that's not all I do.
I read at four or less
I'm bright, I must confess
I'm independent too
Am I impressing you?
I learn right on the spot
Like any polyglot
In art I'm an aesthete
And each athletic feat
Is mere surpassing great
But I've more on my plate
I cook, I bake, I stitch
I've earned so much I'm rich
I play and sing on tune
At work I'm a tycoon
I've mastered French and Math
In short I set the path
My spirit brings folks mirth
I've traveled round the earth
And every place I went
I was the main event
I'm savvy and I'm shrewd
I'm tough but never crude
In fact I'm so refined
I'm often wined and dined
By high placed diplomats
And courted by fat cats
Who recognize my skills
Will help them fill their tills
I always innovate
Yet I cooperate
So things run smooth as cream
When I work on a team


A Shakespeare I am not
But you still get the plot
Thus you would be a fool
To keep me from your school
Because I what I'll be
When I'm done with Berkley